Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
