Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
