Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
