Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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