PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
