you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Did I show you my penis last night?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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