u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
