11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
