stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
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This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
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I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you made out with another girl for some wings