as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
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so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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