i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
