Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need a beard to bite.