okay pat passed out under dana's car
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize