If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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