Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
