You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
