I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
