the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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