Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
