i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
