my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
