It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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