4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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