don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
