Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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