Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
