i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
