You just made me feel so damn special
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
