im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's like iHOP with fire
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I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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