He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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