matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize