Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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