I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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