Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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