D3 body, D1 cock
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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