Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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