I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
