he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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