what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
