I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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