thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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