you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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