i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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