So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
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How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
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HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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