her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
