did you get engaged???
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You pole danced in your parka.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
