Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
