i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize