Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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