it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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