New invention idea: vibrating tampons
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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