Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
