Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
