you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
