if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
