Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
