I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As shirtless as possible
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
