i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
