It's Friday. Sex?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
