You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want to make out with him forever
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
