I wish I only lived at night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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