ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
...so i touched it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
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Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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